Pretty soon you will be finished with your law school exams.

Hard to believe, no?

But done you will be, and it's important to consider what to do when you get to the other side of your first semester finals. This will ensure that you will return fresh and ready to catch up.

1. Do NOT talk about finals

This is a killer for most students. It is also the most crucial. There will always be those students, those soulless law school whores that feel the need to talk about their exam answers. They should be murdered on sight. But since this isn't Iran, just stay away.

You can't change your answers. You can't know your grades for months. Just move the f*ck on. Know that you did the best that you could, and accept that as fact. Only bad things will come out of discussing your finals: you forgot to discuss 'X' issue, or your Erie analysis was off.

2. Do Not Oversleep

The urge to make up for all those hours of sleep lost during the first semester will be strong. But according to leading scientists, your body can't compensate (science daily). It takes up to two weeks for your body to return to a normal sleeping pattern following a disturbance in your natural circadian rhythm. If with nightmares about Torts & Civil Procedure exams haunting you for months (and sometimes years) later, it can take even longer.

3. Ditch the energy boosts

This goes along with (1) & (2): drop the caffeine-enhanced 'beverages' you lived on for weeks. Between their over-usage and your lack of sleep, your body becomes dependent on this caffeine to stay awake. You'll need to ween yourself off of their usage if you want to have any hope of enjoying your holiday break. You can do this one of two ways:

1. Gradual weening process, relying on caffeine and 'study aids' less and less

2. Full Monty, ohmygodthissucks-style cold-turkey

The first is far more humane, but takes longer; the second will blow harder than Louie Armstrong, but will be over in 2-3 days. Me, I chose option (2): by the following Monday I was back to normal, but I wasn't a pleasant person to be around that weekend. Actually, I won the award for biggest Tool, but I digress. Choose wisely.

4. Allow Yourself To Crash

The weekend following your finals, you will be utterly exhausted. The exhaustion will be physical, but it will be considerably more so mental. Cramming your brain with useless facts for days on end will cause it to go on strike. So allow yourself the weekend to sleep in. As long as you want. Your brain needs desperate sleep to refill its restorative chemicals.

You will awake from your weekend long cocoon (and hangover, if I know most law students well) still tired physically (see [2]), but mentally more acute. And with less headaches.

Beware!

5. Begin healthy routines

It takes between 14-21 days to implement a new habit. This is the best time to begin some, as you'll likely have 2-3 weeks off in between your semesters. For me, it was to get into a good sleep habit, begin flossing (harder for me than you can imagine), begin a regular exercise routine, and sign up for Salsa lessons. Wasted opportunities include: eating right, starting yoga, taking regular naps, more sex. In my defense though, that last one was out of my control.

If you use this opportunity, you'll have several new healthy habits by the time your next semester ends.

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When you hear that nearly universal announcement at the beginning of conversations, "This call may be recorded or monitored," you need to know several things:

(1) The probability that the call will be used for "training purposes" as some announcements say, is practically, nil. Most companies are so strapped for personnel, so tapped out, so thinly staffed by monitors, coaches, and trainers, that they can barely staff the phones, let alone intrude into calls present, or past.

(2) That announcement is designed more to tame and narcotize callers than to truly govern the quality of conversations. It is saying "Big Brother is Listening to YOU," so dear customer, you should mind your manners.

(3) Merely announcing that the call may be recorded is not sufficient to evoke customer consent. In many states, the law suggests that you must be given an opportunity to say: "I don't want this call monitored or recorded," and to then be able to converse free of eavesdropping, or to be called back on an un-recorded line. If the rep has no way to STOP the recording system, s/he is probably violating your privacy rights, on the spot, especially if you object in a timely way.

(4) Most important, if they are recording you, YOU CAN RECORD THEM!

And you should say so, at the top of the call.

Say, "Hello, this is so-and-so on a recorded line, and I have a little problem..."

By telling them that they are being recorded you are putting them on notice that their service quality is being assessed, that they report to you, and the call had better succeed, or it could be replayed anywhere, to anyone, at any time.

Then, sit back, and simply enjoy the attentive service you receive, perhaps for the very first time!

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